She Paints Me Blue
"Please don't think that this is easy." Her hair fell over her eyes, shielding them from my teary eyed gaze. As I struggled to find the words to make her to stay, she sighed and took a long drink of her latte. She was such a caffeine addict.
A single tear fell from my cheek and into my tea. I watched as the salty clear liquid mixed with the sugary sweetness in my tea cup and swirled into the darkness, much like our relationship had been doing for some time. Unable to look at her, I whispered, mostly to myself, "I love you.." and instinctively, my hand found hers. That familiar touch of my skin on hers seemed so cold. She didn't even notice that my heart had stopped beating.
With a sigh, she said "Baby, please don't cry. You know it breaks my heart to see your eyes like that." She reached out to me and with her fingertips, tilted my face toward hers. Her dark eyes locked on mine and for a split second I saw something in them, something that had been missing for so long. As if a light had been turned on, she noticed my hand was touching hers and she curled her slender fingers around mine. Our hands always did fit together so perfectly. Before I knew it, she was walking out the door. She'd forgotten her latte, it was only half gone. How unlike her. For a fleeting second, I considered taking it out to her as she hailed a cab, but when she didn't look back before opening the dented car door, I reconsidered and began to stare at the lipstick mark on the rim of the cup. In a daze, I touched the pink imprint of her lips, trying to remember how it felt when she'd kiss my fingers. When I couldn't remember, I stood and walked out of the coffee shop and down the street to mourn in the privacy of my own apartment. Four years is such a long time to end so abruptly.
Every person I passed on the street seemed to be in another world apart from my own. The afternoon sun bore down on my back, but inside I was freezing. Inside it was raining cats and dogs, I swear it was the storm of the century. Four blocks down from the coffee shop, I realized that I had been running. I stopped, completely out of breath, and sat down on some steps. It wasn't until it was too late that I realized where I was. Her apartment building. With my hands in my pockets, I looked up to her window, hoping to see her shadow on the drapes. I don't know how long I stood there.
The next time I looked up, the sun was setting and she was getting out of a cab. I tried to walk away before she saw me, but I didn't have the energy to run again. She touched the small of my back. I was alive again, or at least I thought I was. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?" She took me by the shoulders and turned me around. This time I avoided her gaze. I reached up to wipe my eyes only to find that I hadn't been crying. Her hands were still on my arms, that simple touch seemed so suffocating all of a sudden. "I..." I didn't know how to explain being there. My apartment was 10 blocks away. I spoke in scattered sentences. "I didn't feel like cooking tonight. I'm just on my way to get dinner. I was just in the neighborhood. I need to get to the newsstand over there before it closes..." The cab driver cut me off.
"Lady, you gonna pay me or what?" He was about to get out of the cab. How long had we been standing there?
She looked at me for a few seconds more and then moved away and handed the cabbie a $20. I took the chance to get away. When she turned back around I was gone, ducked into a doorway, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. I watched as she looked around for me, the look on her face was frantic. She called my cell three times before giving up and walking inside. I stepped out of the doorway just in time to see the light come on in her bedroom. Even her silhouette was gorgeous.
A single tear fell from my cheek and into my tea. I watched as the salty clear liquid mixed with the sugary sweetness in my tea cup and swirled into the darkness, much like our relationship had been doing for some time. Unable to look at her, I whispered, mostly to myself, "I love you.." and instinctively, my hand found hers. That familiar touch of my skin on hers seemed so cold. She didn't even notice that my heart had stopped beating.
With a sigh, she said "Baby, please don't cry. You know it breaks my heart to see your eyes like that." She reached out to me and with her fingertips, tilted my face toward hers. Her dark eyes locked on mine and for a split second I saw something in them, something that had been missing for so long. As if a light had been turned on, she noticed my hand was touching hers and she curled her slender fingers around mine. Our hands always did fit together so perfectly. Before I knew it, she was walking out the door. She'd forgotten her latte, it was only half gone. How unlike her. For a fleeting second, I considered taking it out to her as she hailed a cab, but when she didn't look back before opening the dented car door, I reconsidered and began to stare at the lipstick mark on the rim of the cup. In a daze, I touched the pink imprint of her lips, trying to remember how it felt when she'd kiss my fingers. When I couldn't remember, I stood and walked out of the coffee shop and down the street to mourn in the privacy of my own apartment. Four years is such a long time to end so abruptly.
Every person I passed on the street seemed to be in another world apart from my own. The afternoon sun bore down on my back, but inside I was freezing. Inside it was raining cats and dogs, I swear it was the storm of the century. Four blocks down from the coffee shop, I realized that I had been running. I stopped, completely out of breath, and sat down on some steps. It wasn't until it was too late that I realized where I was. Her apartment building. With my hands in my pockets, I looked up to her window, hoping to see her shadow on the drapes. I don't know how long I stood there.
The next time I looked up, the sun was setting and she was getting out of a cab. I tried to walk away before she saw me, but I didn't have the energy to run again. She touched the small of my back. I was alive again, or at least I thought I was. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?" She took me by the shoulders and turned me around. This time I avoided her gaze. I reached up to wipe my eyes only to find that I hadn't been crying. Her hands were still on my arms, that simple touch seemed so suffocating all of a sudden. "I..." I didn't know how to explain being there. My apartment was 10 blocks away. I spoke in scattered sentences. "I didn't feel like cooking tonight. I'm just on my way to get dinner. I was just in the neighborhood. I need to get to the newsstand over there before it closes..." The cab driver cut me off.
"Lady, you gonna pay me or what?" He was about to get out of the cab. How long had we been standing there?
She looked at me for a few seconds more and then moved away and handed the cabbie a $20. I took the chance to get away. When she turned back around I was gone, ducked into a doorway, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. I watched as she looked around for me, the look on her face was frantic. She called my cell three times before giving up and walking inside. I stepped out of the doorway just in time to see the light come on in her bedroom. Even her silhouette was gorgeous.
posted by Loverbunny | 1:43 PM
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